Jazzy’s Dog Diary

Hello, friends! We’re going to take a pause from our usual foodie ways for today. It all starts with a question.

Are you a dog person?

I am. Though I am a cat owner, and love my Siamese princess to no end, I am definitely also a dog person. I love dogs for their people-pleasing, I’m-just-here-to-love-you personalities. I had a big galunk of a dog when I was growing up. His name was Clifford. Not that Clifford, but certainly bigger than life to me. He was a huge black Newfoundland with just enough Lab in him to be fun, and just enough German shepherd to be tough. He was sweet and devoted and playful and the best darn dog that ever lived. That is the standard to which I hold all other dogs.

So let me introduce you to Jazzy, my current canine love, though she is my mom’s dog. Don’t ask me what breed she is – there are too many possibilities. Akita, Elkhound, Husky, Keeshound… who knows? But she is a love bug, full of energy, and smiles better than any other dog I’ve ever met. It’s kind of unnerving.

Isn’t she a beaut?

Last week my mum was away visiting my brother in California, so I devoted my week to keeping her happy and making sure she wasn’t too lonely. Though we went for rides, and walks, and had many grooming sessions, she still had time to jot her thoughts down in Jazzy’s Dog Diary.

This is Jazzy. In her own words 🙂

Day 1 of My Abandonment
5:30 pm – Where did Grammy go?? All afternoon by myself. Thank goodness Georgia knows how to feed and talk to me. She even garnished my dinner with one of those bacon logs. BACON!!!! Ooh, she is truly the best little human.

7:30 pm – still no Grammy. But -wait- what is this? Julie said the RIDE word! Is she teasing? Yes I understand you! YES I want to go for a ride!! In the dark? So cool. Grammy is usually asleep at her computer by this time [a great time to sneak a couple of dirty tissues out of the trash if you’re hungry, BTW].

Here we go! Whaddya mean I’m not driving? Why can’t I sit in the front with you?  This car is small. Where are we going? Oh who am I  kidding. I DON’T CARE! The wind in my ears, my tongue lolling about. Drive, human, drive!

We’ve stopped. Here comes Casey. He is a little frightened of me. On the ride home I sit very still and stare at him over his shoulder until he notices me. He gives a little squeak. Hee hee. #ninjadog

Home again. No Grammy. Nighty night…….

Day 2 of My Abandonment
7:00 am – It’s a good thing Julie comes when she does because I really really really really really have to go outside. Yes, for only 2 seconds, what of it? She’s left again but did say WALK so I’ll chill for a bit. She’s a human of her word. I like her energy.

8:15 am – Julie and Georgia are back, and outfit me in my regal purple harness. Off we go – so many sniffs to be had, leaves to tinkle on. WHY DO YOU HURRY ME SO?

We arrive at the school just as 4 buses are unloading. I am so ridiculously excited I can barely keep my fur on. Little humans everywhere, and some big ones too! There is a gray-haired stern looking human giving us the furry eyeball, so I am steered straight past the delicious little humans without a single pet, sniff, or lick. But can’t she see they NEED me??

I’m so disappointed as we hustle past the last bus. Brainstorm! I’ll just leave a present. Yup, right here on the schoolyard looks good. Why is she yelling at me? I smile my best at her while I crouch. She calls me “gross.” I think she got up too early today. I step back and admire my work.  Look at all that steam!! You could give yourself a facial with it!

She decides it is too extravagant a gift to leave behind, and bags it up with a too-small snack bag she’s found. We’re on the move again quickly.  Back at the house I patrol the side yard for a while before I come in for some cookies. What a morning. I am beat. Nap time.

12:00 pm – I seemed to have ‘stage-fright’ when let out to the side yard to do my business, so Julie takes me on the leash for a quick jaunt around the property. I can’t believe she fell for that. Who’s training whom?

3:00 pm – Ben’s here.  He doesn’t say much, but he smells like peanut butter, so he’s my favorite.

6:30 pm – Dinner, finally! What took you so long? I practically eat the bowl, then head outside to bark my head off for awhile.  Gawd that feels good. In for the night.

It’s too quiet here.

Day 3 of My Abandonment
8:00 am – Julie’s here FINALLY. Hurry up you slacker – the outdoors is calling me! 

HELLO NEIGHBORHOOD! WAKE UP, WAKE UP! I sit sentry style for a bit and kept watch. Time to go back in. What? I can finish your breakfast? Don’t mind if I do. Next it’s CHASE! My fave game. In between every cookie she gives me I run away like a bandit, and she chases me around the kitchen island, then I’m back for another. I even make her shriek once – oh how I love that. Back outside just for a minute – I take my meaty bone with me; I don’t trust her entirely – to make sure the whole neighborhood is now awake.

1:00 pm – BEST DAY EVER! Sure I miss Grammy. That is one seriously long tennis match, I guess. But Julie and I are walking in the woods! As if that isn’t fantastic enough, I find the Log of Wondrous Smells – so lucky! I rub myself all over it. It’s like Wet Dog, Smelly Trash, and Skunk Spray all mixed together. Heavenly. We walk and walk and sniff and pee (well I pee…) AND THEN…. Other dogs! I can tell Julie’s a little nervous but I’m like, “I got this.” Teddy is half my size and that little Jojo…I’ll admit I thought he was a cat at first. They are cuh-razy! Jumping all over each other and then me. At first I’m like, “Whoa, dude, back up, I hardly know you.” But then it was cool – I am freed from my leash and I am running and chasing and talking and it is awesome. So I just have one question: WHY IN NAME OF ALL THAT IS DOGGY HAVE WE NOT DONE THIS BEFORE??

5:30 pm – Georgia and The Man Who Does Not Like Me come to make me dinner. Georgia is determined and will not let him help. I’m sticking with her if there is ever a family feud. Still, I’m tired of this prison food. I get no leftovers, and I’ve not licked a single dinner plate in days. What have I done to deserve this?!

7:30 pm – Julie’s back and talking to me in that soft night-night voice. I am so despondent I can barely get a wag going. Grammy where are you? I give Julie my saddest hang-dog face as she waves goodbye at me thru the door window. I must have looked pretty tragic cuz here she comes back inside for a full-on belly rub. Five minutes later SHE leaves with the hang-dog face and now I feel kinda bad. It’s not so awful, really…

Day 4 of My Abandonment
7:30 am – I’ am still snoozing when the door opens. Morning already?? Julie goes about the business of making her breakfast while I go about MY business (heh heh). She even gives me some crusts!! Great start so far. She has said the WALK word a couple times so finally I start sticking my snout in her ribs. She is laughing so she must like it. LET’S GO already!

This is a long walk. I like stepping on all the crunchy leaves. I stick my nose down into them to see if I can find anything rotten. GASP! What’s that up ahead??! That person-thing makes me nervous. Why does his head not move and is that a pole coming out of his bum? Julie tells me to go ahead and check him out. I am curious but a little scared. I say hello and plant my snout in his privates, as is customary for my kind. I take a few sniffs to determine whether we’ve met before. Sniff, sniff, sniff. What’s this? All I smell is dried grass. WAIT A MINUTE, THIS IS JUST LAUNDRY WITH NO HUMAN IN IT!  Now she’s laughing at me….and she took a picture. Humph. I’m sure that’ll be on Facebook within the hour. Brat.

4:00 pm – We’re going for a RIDE!! Me and Julie and Georgia and I don’t care where cuz we’re  going for a RIDDDDDDE!!!! Yippeeeeeee. Now we are in another driveway and there is a dog. Out I go to say hello. Neither of us is in the mood for this and he is not fun like Teddy. All he wants to do is sniff my butt and all I want to do is sniff his yard. Finally I spin around and – I’ll admit this is not polite – snap at him. Well let me tell you he does not take kindly to that and we exchange snarls and growls and saliva for a few minutes. Julie finally gets between us and leads me back to the van. Fine by me! I sit in the front seat and grin at him. Ugh, men.

Where are we off to next?

7:30 pm – Whew what a day! This time when Julie comes to tuck me in, I smile and try not to look too sad. I know she is doing her best and so far she has proven a top-notch second to Grammy. She always comes back, always rubs my belly, and always gives me treats. She’s a peach.

Day 5 of My Abandonment
6:00 am – Julie’s here. At least I think it’s her. She smells differently and is wearing loud shoes and her hair is in her face. She lets me out then leaves the barn door open for me and says the Georgia word. A pat on the head and a treat and she is heading for the door.

THAT’S IT?? No walk? No belly rub? Fine. I’m re-writing last night’s entry…

8:00 am  – Georgia and The Man That Does Not Like Me are here. Georgia is sweet. When she was littler I used to follow her around pretty closely. You never know when someone that size is going to drop something – many things constitute a snack, you know.

Old Man and Peanut Butter Boy both come by. Where is Julie? No walk today?? Sigh.

7:45 pm Wow –  it is way past my bedtime and you’re just getting here? No matter. Not a bad day but you ought to try harder tomorrow. You have promised me a walk and a ride so we shall see if you can put your doggy treat where your mouth is. And I am not talking about that trick we do where I take the treat from your mouth. Which I always thought was kind of weird, BTW…

Day 6 of My Abandonment 
7:20 am — SO HAPPY TO SEE YOU!! Hurry up and let me out. Woof woof woof helloooo world! I do a few laps, then head back inside. It’s not that cold out, so she’s left me access to the barn and the back. I think I’ll go give some squirrels a heart attack (evil dog laugh).

11:30 am — Julie’s back and she’s brought gourmet treats!! Yum yum yum yum yum. Now it is walk time, and she turns to me with the harness. I sit as still as a dog with H.U.G. disorder can (that’s Hurry Up and Go disorder. Yeah, I got issues). Long walk, all the usual places. I’m getting good at this. Back home for more treats and a peanut butter filled bone – oh this is the life.

Day 7 of My Abandonment
8:15 am – Time for school. Georgia has the leash, so I walk (more like drag) her all the way there. Short legs on that one. I slow down only when I come upon my favorite delicacy — a dirty tissue! I cram it into my mouth before Julie can see what I’ve done. Shoot, she’s on to me and quick as a jackrabbit, she crams her hand into my mouth (how rude!) and pulls it out. Dagnabbit.

We leave Georgia at school and make our way across the big hill. This is unchartered territory, so I walk in winding patterns to cover as much ground with my sniffer as possible. We’re home too soon and after a brief game of chase around the kitchen, Julie’s off again.

Sigh. Doesn’t she ever just sit? I miss Grammy.

2:00 pm Another walk?? Julie is really putting me at the top today! We come upon Zach and his teammates on the sidewalk. He doesn’t see me coming, so I sneak attack him and he jumps back a little. That was fun 🙂 Next we go down behind the library and somehow I miss the dead goose by the edge of the road, and the ducks swimming just 10 feet away. I’m terribly preoccupied with the delicious aroma from the piles of wet leaves. Eventually we head back and arrive at Georgia’s school and there are people talking to me and kids rubbing my belly and I don’t ever want to leave.

But leave we must. Julie is on Sphincter Watch to ensure I don’t befoul the hallowed grounds of the school again. Humph.

6:30 Dining late tonight, but Georgia is so cute I don’t mind. She always puts that bacon thingy right at the top of my pile of food – like a garnish! She knows how I love them. I would share with her but… Well that’s just not the kind of dog I am.

8:00 pm Bedtime. Julie turns out the lights but I want to play! What? Stop whispering to me in that night-night voice. Party pooper. Sigh…

Day 8 of My Abandonment
7:00 am – FULL OF ENERGY TODAY!! I run outside and pee like forever. Then I bark and run and run and bark until Julie calls me back in. I am BOUNDING across the lawn, airborne with each stride, free and strong and ALIVE!! One final leap onto the top step and….my back end slides all the way across and under the open door. How embarrassing. I smile sheepishly and hop inside. #caninecalamity

8:15 I drag both Georgia and Julie to school this time. Geez, I guess it’s me. I’m just full of it and can’t be slowed. We drop G and head over the hill again. This time we run, run, run across the hill. I keep looking back at Julie like “Are you sure you’re good?” and she is, for about 50 feet. I am keeping her so young – she’s gotta be like 200 something in dog years! Still we walk for quite a while, ’til she gets cold. No wonder – she is practically naked with no fur to speak of.

Me walking Georgia a few weeks ago – clearly I am winded. I’m usually well out in front.

Day 9 of My Abandonment
6:00 AM – Julie’s back, and I can tell by the way she smells and is dressed I won’t see her again today. Let’s hope Old Man and Peanut Butter boy step up the entertainment a bit. Julie has said the GRAMMY word about a dozen times.

Something’s up. I wonder what?

7:00 pm – Julie’s here to tuck me in. She seems excited. Something is seriously up.

9:30 pm – GRAMMY’S HOME!! She smells really, really different — all kinds of unfamiliar scents. It’s going to take me hours to take it all in. But I’m so happy she’s home. She sits still and rubs my ears. She feeds me crusts. She lets me lick all the dirty dishes in the dishwasher. I’m so glad she’s finally home.

Nighty-night 🙂

I hope this gave you some laughs, as Jazzy did for me all of last week. I had hoped to get around to making her some treats, and share the recipe with you. Alas, taking care of a 4th child took up any spare time I might of dreamed of. So, I leave you with a few doggie treat ideas from other bloggers:

Sweet Potato Leathers from The Guided Bite

Peanut Butter and Bacon Dog Biscuits from Sally’s Baking Addiction

Pumpkin Peanut Butter Pup Cookies from Bakeaholic Mama

I’ll be back soon and ready to share new recipes! Have a wonderful day <3